


Silent night, holy night

by Lea12



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Parent/Child Incest, Sexual Abuse, Sibling Incest, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 06:03:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15188399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lea12/pseuds/Lea12





	1. Silent night, holy night

_Silent night, holy night!_

I was born on Christmas Eve in 1959.

Mother wasn't a very kind and loving person, always pointing out my flaws and making me feel like dirt. She died of overdose, when I was fifteen.

Father was an abusive monster. He died from the Killing Curse when I was seventeen.

_All is calm, all is bright._

Father forced me to watch him beat my brother up when I was three.  
Then he started to beat me up when I was five.  
Later, he started to sexually abuse me when I was seven.

_Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child._

I want to say I regret every death, every torture out of fifty I've done.  
But I won't. Because I don't.

_Holy infant so tender and mild,_

I had a child. Sirius was the father. I got pregnant in our sixth year. He didn't know.  
Father beat me up when he found out. I miscarried.  
That was my turning point into the person I became.

_Sleep in heavenly peace,_

I was sorted into Slytherin.  
The Sorting Hat said I would fit rather nicely in Hufflepuff, but I said I wanted to be in Slytherin.  
I wonder sometimes, would my life be different, would I be different if I had been sorted into Hufflepuff.

Perhaps I would find friends there, for I didn't have and don't have any friends.  
Perhaps I would fight for the light side, against my brother, side by side with all those I killed and tortured.  
Perhaps I would find love and protection with Sirius or with that mudblood girl. Perhaps I would have children with a loving husband. Beautiful children who I would protect with my life.

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

First time I "talked" with Sirius was when I was fourteen. Just fingering, nothing else. It was at the ball, I saved him from a boring chat with an elderly pureblood couple by asking him for a dance.  
Second time was oral sex. He found me smoking in the hall.  
Third time was anal. Again, he found me smoking.  
Fourth time, it was magical. It was under the sky filled with stars. He promised he will marry me, to save me from loveless marriage to some old pervert.  
Then he betrayed me, he ran away from home and was burned from the family tapestry.

Amycus kissed me five times.  
I kissed him the sixth time.

I slept with a mudblood girl in my fourth year. Three times.

_Silent night, holy night!_

First time I casted Unforgivables was on Father, along with my brother.  
Using those spells gave me the feeling of control, of taking what was taken from me.

_Shepherds quake at the sight._

They feared me. All those people.  
The fear, the desperation in their eyes and their voices, so weak. Their tears.

I dream of all of them every night.

_Glories stream from heaven afar_

The Dark Lord promised me peace, closure for everything Father has done.  
"I will erase everything he has done if you join me. I promise you glory."  
I joined The Dark Lord in the summer of 1977.

_Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,_

I was never beautiful, or pretty, or cute. I was stocky, sloping-shouldered, stubby fingered with wheezy giggle.  
I hated how I looked. Mother and her constant reminding of it certainly didn't help.  
But I always loved my long strawberry blonde hair. And my eyes, which were something between blue and grey.

_Christ the Savior is born!_

My brother always protected me, from the moment I was born to our deaths. He protected me from Father, from students, from The Dark Lord, from trials, from Azkaban.

_Christ the Savior is born_

I stopped celebrating my birthday at the age of seven. When Father first...

_Silent night, holy night!_

I Ioved the snow, and the stars, and the sky.  
I wanted to be an Astronomy teacher.

_Son of God love's pure light._

I used to love Christmas carols. Mother used to sing them. I knew all of them. She sang them in Greek, sometimes.

_Radiant beams from Thy holy face_

I enjoyed bringing suffering. Using Unforgivables, torturing all those people, regaining control of my life.

_With dawn of redeeming grace,_

Father made me hate myself, hate Mother for having a small part of muggle blood inside her. He made me hate muggles and mudbloods because they are gross, they take our power, they pollute us, our world.

I fell for a mudblood and a blood traitor.  
I saved one muggle girl.

I hate him for making me hate those I love.

_Jesus Lord, at Thy birth_

We said we were under Imperius Curse after The Dark Lord's first fall.

_Jesus Lord, at Thy birth_

We didn't manage to escape Azbakan the second time.  
Those bloody children.  
We were sentenced to death.  
We died together, singing the song Mother used to, Silent Night.  
Her voice is the first thing I remember. Her voice, my brother's face and Father's wand.  
Funny, they are the last thing I remember while dying.


	2. Sleep in heavenly peace

_"Hey, Aly. It's Christmas Eve."_   
_"I know."_   
_"Happy birthday."_   
_"Thank you."_   
_"Forgive me for not getting you a present."_   
_"Doesn't matter. You are enough."_   
_"Next year, I'll get you a bracelet. The kind you always wanted."_   
_"Thank you."_   
_"I can feel the death approaching."_   
_"I can feel it too."_   
_"I love you, you know that?"_   
_"I love you too. Do you know what I want, for my birthday present this year?"_   
_"What?"_   
_"Remember the song my mother used to sing us?"_   
_"Silent Night? The muggle song?"_   
_"Yes. Do you remember the words?"_   
_"Yes. Do you?"_   
_"Not really. Do you want to sing it to me? As my birthday present."_   
_"Anything for my little sister."_   
_"Thank you, dear brother."_

> _"Silent night, holy night!_   
>  _All is calm, all is bright._   
>  _Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child."_
> 
> _"Holy infant so tender and mild,_   
>  _Sleep in heavenly peace,_   
>  _Sleep in heavenly peace"_
> 
> _"Silent night, holy night!_   
>  _Shepherds quake at the sight._   
>  _Glories stream from heaven afar_   
>  _Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,_   
>  _Christ the Savior is born!_   
>  _Christ the Savior is born."_

_"Forgive me, for I have forgotten the last words."_  
 _"Doesn't matter. Thank you. Look, Am, it is snowing!"_  
 _"Yes."_  
 _"It is beautiful!"_  
 _"Not more then you."_  
 _"Forgive me, my dear brother. For everything."_  
 _"It is forgiven. Do you forgive me?"_  
 _"Yes."_  
 _"Thank you. I love you more then anything."_  
 _"I love you more then anything, too."_ She wipes her tears. _"Am. Amycus. I'm cold."_ She doesn't hear him. _"Am? Brother? Amycus?"_ She bangs on the wall, weakly. _"Answer me! Please! Don't leave me alone! Am? I need you._  
 _I'm starting to remember Mother's voice, the song! I wish to see your face! I can't think about Father now!"_ She says, her voice breaking. _"Am? Please. Am? Sing with me again."_ She wipes her tears.

> _"Silent night, holy night!_   
>  _Son of God love's pure light,_   
>  _Radiant beams from Thy holy face_   
>  _With dawn of redeeming grace,_   
>  _Jesus Lord, at Thy birth_   
>  _Jesus Lord, at Thy birth."_

And with that last word, she takes her final breath.


End file.
